The first meeting was definitely a huge success! There was an incredible turnout, it may have been the biggest meeting we’ve ever had in the entire HISTORY OF BARE. Good work kids.
Before we get into the theme of the first meeting: Dirty Talk, there are some more future plans I want to go over again. There were of a bunch of great ideas for future meetings, some that we planned to cover last semester but never got to and a few new ones, including:
- power play
- text sex/ cyber sex (chat roulette?!)
- kama sutra
- kinks and fetishes
- religion and sex
and a whole lot more so if any of those topics interest you, make sure to come by, meetings are Wednesdays at 8:15 in Ladd 206! we may even have to move to a bigger room soon… but for now that’s where they will stay.
And don’t forget about the aphrodisiac dinner- coming soon! We don’t know when yet.. but we’re working on it. It should definitely happen within a month, hopefully less. We will also be constructing an aphrodisiac cookbook that will be sold to raise money for the club so look out for that as well.
And now: DIRTY TALK
So the scoop is that dirty talk can almost be whatever you want, it’s all in how you present it. Some even consider it a rite of passage to addressing your sexuality as a person. It can be extremely empowering if used well. If not… well I know I’ve had some awkward experiences with it, but just keep a light heart about it and move on. Sex can be funny, and that’s fine! Keep an open mind.
A way to be a bit more comfortable with talking dirty to your partner(s) is to roleplay! Now this may seem like movement into a more extreme direction BUT if you take a step outside of yourself, you may find it much easier to let go and say whatever you want. Get some outfits and really create a production if you want. Do it up. As was said in the meeting “You don’t know if it’s up your alley until it’s up your alley” and that can be a wonderful thing. And don’t restrict the fantasy to simply personalities, change the setting, hell change the time period. Who wouldn’t want to fuck in Paris in the 1920’s? Hot.
Be wary that if role play becomes a frequent part of sexual play, there could be a disconnect between partners. Make sure to pay attention to this and know if you really like having sex with Joe, not just his alter egos Francois, Big Rick, and Jamal.
To start integrating dirty talk into your sex life feel free to just say what you want. Some consider that simple direction, but it can definitely be spicy for others. For example: “harder” can turn into “flip me over and fuck me harder with that huge cock!!$#!”
see the difference?
And yelling isn’t necessary either, whispering can be a really sexy alternative, tell them what you’re about to do, how you feel, how you’re going to make them feel. Communication is key guys, you know this. You could even say it in a different language, a few people mentioned that this takes some of the pressure off.
If you have trouble vocalizing, period, sexting is a great place to start. Back in AOL chat room days cybering was my shit, for real. I guess that was the beginning of my role playing too because I definitely was rarely myself. So I would know that typing something out is a lot easier that saying it aloud. Starting the communication there will eventually lead to some fun- and sometimes surprising- results in bed. If you want, bring it back to paper and pen and write them a sexy poem to find in their coat pocket. Warm up their day! It’s fucking cold out.
Look out for the BARE Cubs soon, I believe they were printed today. The theme was “What do you say to feel sexy”. Surely there will a few in there that you can use to start gettin dirty.
Good luck!! PYOT and be merry. Thanks to VP Brie, the newest Bare Cub has “Lemon” by Pablo Neruda in the back which was mentioned in the meeting, and so I’ll leave you with this poem by E.E. Cummings:
“Lady I Will Touch You”
Lady, I will touch you with my mind.
Touch you and touch and touch
until you give
me suddenly a smile, shyly obscene
(lady i will
touch you with my mind.) Touch
you,that is all,
lightly and you utterly will become
with infinite care
the poem which i do not write.