BDSM

So I’m running a little behind over here, my bad guys.

Laaast Wednesday we spoke about BDSM which stands for Bondage, Dominance/Discipline, Submission/Sadism, and Masochism and I’m pretty sure we all learned a lot- I know I definitely did.

Before we go into that, there are a few EVENTS coming up that all you crazy kids should attend:

Saturday 2/11 at 12:15 Women In Comedy Panel in Gannett

Thursday 2/23 at 7PM APHRODISIAC DINNER PARTY 

  • look out for email updates on that if you’re involved in the cooking, we should be coordinating kitchens soon and try to make something dinner-ish as we seem to be having a whole bunch of people interested in making dessert. Dessert is super sexy, but you gotta earn it with some real grub first.
  • please DONATE as well!! We’re going to be cooking for a whole lot of people, which means a whole lot of food and we don’t really have flowing fundz at the moment so at the next meeting you can bring anything from $1<whatever your generous heart desires. 

April 13th- Bare Release Partayyy

  • yes we put out a publication. yes it’s super cool. yes you should SUBMIT!
  • Also, elections are coming up next week, we’re looking for a literary editor (familiarity with Publisher is a plus), layout editor, and art editor (familiarity with In Design is a plus) so if you’re interested- please run! email one of the e-board members if you’re interested and prepare something to say for the next meeting

And I hope you all attended Sex Toy Bingoooo and maybe even won some cool stuff! If not, you can always attend Another World Sex Shop in Schenectady. It’s about a 20-30 minute drive. Not bad, and there’s a decent selection. Definitely not wonderful either.. but it’s better than Spencer’s.

Soon we will also be hosting some movie get-togethers on Sunday afternoons as a nice study break so look out for that.

 

BDSM:

The slogan of the BDSM community is “safe, sane, and consensual” so if everything you’re doing fits within those guidelines you’re off to a great start.

To begin: make sure you go over everything you plan on doing. This is a really important step.

  • go over all the toys you plan on using
  • make sure you have safe words
    • if you’re gagged you obviously cannot use a safe word so have something in your hand that you can drop if you’re uncomfortable or have a hand free to “tap out” with
  • use terms like red, amber, and green to communicate how you’re feeling
    • red means stop, amber means ease off of what you’re doing, and green means keep going
  • and often saying “no” is actually really saying yes. This is why safe words are very important

The common consensus with people that have never tried anything like this before was that they didn’t know how to even begin to lean in that direction. But honestly, if you’ve ever given or received a hickey you got a little kinky. Pain for pleasure- oh yeah. Maybe you’ve given a spank or two; that counts.

To bring up something like this can be a little intimidating, but just be open and ask if there’s a certain thing that your partner(s) would be into. “Would you like to try some light bondage?” is totally viable! Even “Hey I have some handcuffs, would you like to use them sometime?” has totally worked for me in the past.

It’s important to keep an open mind when it comes to these things and not get totally turned off by just one part of the acronym. There are all different styles of BDSM and not everything involves chains and leather. Unless you want it to.

Realize that if you’re into it, there’s a community out there that’s much larger than you think that loves it just as much. Never feel guilt and never feel shame for liking something that you believe is a little out there because there’s always going to be someone else that likes the same thing.

Some had problems balancing their feminism with BDSM, they felt that submitting was placing themselves subordinate to their partners. It’s important to note that this is not the case. It’s all a role and it takes a confident, secure person to take the role of the submissive. Remember that you want it, it makes you feel good. You’re in control.

The idea of role playing should also be kept in mind if you’re feeling guilty about dominating someone. Remember that they asked you to do it, they want it and you’re only giving them pleasure.

If you’re looking for some additional information on starting to get into BDSM this link has some great information BDSM: A Beginner’s Guide

It’s on Babeland’s site which has some super awesome sex toys to enjoy by yourself or with friends! The possibilities are endless!

So good luck, keep an open mind and remember to keep it safe, sane, and consensual.

If you’re looking for some people to talk to fetlife.com has a pretty good community for online discussion or meet-ups. Enjoy!

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